Tag: healthy living

Golden goal

hivstigmafighter

My lovely people , January is my favourite month. Not only because it is the beginning of a New year where we can start afresh, we also still have the whole year ahead to work on whatever we set our mind to.

We definitely started afresh as on the  4th January we celebrated our 20th Anniversary in a very special way. It became a great day full of many surprises. Remember, I was back from Burundi where I had been working really hard for 3 months on various great projects. So of course, I made sure to be back on time in the Netherlands to be with my husband on our 20th anniversary.

He is such a romantic man, as he had planned some wonderful surprises for our special day. He took me to our favourite town, Rotterdam, where we stayed in an amazing hotel with a room with our own private jacuzzi and sauna! Then we went to a special place, a huge red heart along a canal in Rotterdam, where love couples lock in their commitment to each other. So on our wedding day (04/01/2023) we locked in our 20 years and committed to staying strong for another 20 years.

And some of you may remember that it is only two years ago when I started to work hard on a Healthy New Me and that my goal was to wear my wedding dress on our 20th wedding anniversary? To accomplish this I started to walk at least 10 km every day. Well, I am so proud to share with you that I reached my goal! The dress fit me perfectly. I am calling this my Golden goal!

So, what is my next big motivation? Still this month I was invited by Positive Now and HIV Ireland to the 4th National HIV Conference in Dublin, Ireland. The theme was “The Pillars of Wellbeing” and the first speaker was Prof. Paddy Mallon to update us on key topics related to HIV in 2023 and explain where we are and what we need to know. He explained about the HIV lifecycle and presented an update on injectable HIV medication. In the Netherlands we are a bit advanced on this topic as we already have people using this, so I could share some of the experiences from our community with the Irish HIV community. To the Irish participants he asked  for more people to participate in clinical trials.

The second part of conference was focused on Wellbeing. This involved topics such as how to improve our wellbeing, how do mindfulness and meditation, how to break a bad habit and apply a new habit. My favourite exercise was the ‘domino effect’ where we learned how by starting to change something small you will be able to end up reaching your bigger target. We were also asked to write down our goals for 2023.

So after a successful 2022 where more a ‘ healthy new me’ resulted in more fitness, weight control and even less medication intake (you see, A small domino can really knock over a bigger one!), what is my golden goal for 2023 and beyond? Positive Living!

I really want to keep my healthy new me lifestyle, and also to fiercely engage on HIV activism as a performer.

I would like to thank PositiveNow and HIV Ireland  and every person I managed to chat with in Ireland. Thanks to joining conferences and networks like this I am motivated to continue to be healthy and in Love for the next 20 years, and by the time I will be 66 years I want my wedding dress to fit me again! 

I am so excited! Isn’t this what I should call Positive Living?

Peace,

Eliane

Ageing positively

hivstigmafighter

As a woman and mother living with HIV how do I see ageing?

A lot of people are afraid of ageing, yet for me it is a very exciting journey and I am actually looking forward to getting older! So, let me share with you why I see ageing in a positive way.

The whole of my adult life, only based on my appearance, people often assume I am still very young. This despite my double trouble of HIV and diabetes. In my life this has led to many embarrasing situations.

When I took my first born for her first vaccination to the clinic 20 years ago, the nurse told me to call my mother. When I told her that I was the mother of my daughter, she yelled at me ”Listen girl, don’t play with me. Call your mother, we need to ask her some questions”. This made me very sad as it reminded me of my mother who died two years earlier. So, with tears in my eyes I responded that “I AM the mom”. When she started hitting me I took out a breast, squished it and made the milk jump unto her. Calmly, I said, “Do you believe me now?” With her guilty face, not even apologizing, she finally started vaccinating my baby. That was the first time I really wanted to age and look like a mother to the people around me.

Three years later, another story happened on the 14th of February 2004 during my husband’s birthday in Luanda, Angola. We invited friends to celebrate with us at a local disco. Everyone was allowed to enter, except me! The bouncer said “You are a ‘quatorzinha’ (14 year old), you can’t enter here!” Everybody started defending me saying I am 26, married and a mother. So when we were about to leave by car, our Angolan driver greeted us and called me “boss, please get in”. The bouncer asked him if he knew me and he replied that we are a married couple. Finally the bouncer believed me, apologized and let us in. I really wanted to celebrate in this place as dancing can lift my spirit! In no time I was already back in a good mood to forget all the drama of being called a quatorzinha.

Since then there were countless times I have been mistaken for my age, hoping that when I reach 40+ things will change. But even as recent as last week, when I wanted to buy a bottle of wine in a supermarket, I still was asked to show my ID by two employees to prove I was older than 18! I told them to look deeper, that I was older than that. But they would not believe me and that without showing my ID they were not going to give me the bottle. Luckily, I had my passport with me. You should have seen their face when I showed it and when they read I am 45! They apologized and said “We are so sorry you look too young for your age!”

Over the years I have learned from these stories that instead of feeling insulted by people that misjudge my age just by looks, I should accept it as a compliment. So these days, I smile at these embarrasing yet funny moments rather than becoming angry like I used to in the past.

What is my ‘secret’ to ageing? I firmly believe that taking good care of my body and mind has a huge positive effect. I am staying in shape by walking everyday 10+ km, I love performing on stage, I am always trying to be happy when I am at home by singing and laughing out loud. This positive take on life must help I guess. And the added benefit is that I am still reducing my diabetes medication intake!

So ageing does not bother me at all. The fact that my ‘looks’ apparently do not match my age is something I now embrace rather than fight! What matters most is that while I am ageing, I also become more fulfilled, happy and healthy!

Peace,

Eliane