My sinful joy

Many people know me as a person living with HIV. So when I talk about my long-term fight with diabetes, they get surprised and often ask “Oh do you have a diabetes too?” Double trouble, that’s what I call it. In my memory the symptoms of high blood sugar levels started in 1997, and I was offically diagnosed in June 1999 at age 21.

‘School dropout’

Back then I was living at a boarding school, and you cannot imagine how hard it was for me to cope with diabetes while on boarding school food. I had to stop that school year just one month before final A-level examinations. That year I did not abandon school only, I also had to give up on my favorite sugary and fizzy drinks, and many foods. Suddenly it seemed that everything delicious contained those unhealthy sugars!

There was a lot of stigma and myths around diabetes. For example that diabetes was for the elderly or super rich. I was not old or some super rich kid! And then there were the weird stories… I was using insuline which had to be kept cool, and since we did not have a fridge, I had to keep it in a fridge at a local bar as these were the only places with a fridge at the time. Every evening I would go to the bar for my insuline shot and people would always make fun of me. “How come you get a disease of rich people when you are poor?”, “Are you injecting drugs?”, “Stay and drink beer with us!” No matter how they bullied me, I did not give up.

One day, when I saw a mother feeding a 6 months old baby with diabetes, I told myself that if a young mother can manage to keep her baby healthy, I am also able enough to make decisions on how I should manage this chronic disease and grow older with it. Since that day I learned to take control of how to manage my diabetes myself and honestly, after all these years, I have to say that it is not that hard as long as you have the will and motivation.

My sin moments

Jaco

Earlier this month I was at the hospital for my diabetes check up where I ran into my peer Jaco with whom I also share the same doctor. We were chatting and he asked me how long I have been living with diabetes. For me that is almost 25 years now. So I was quite shocked to hear he was 7 years when diagnosed, and that now he is living for 45 years with diabetes. It is amazing to know a long term thriver with diabetes!

Jaco made me really glow to see how healthy and cheerful he is. He is somebody who does not give up easily. I asked him what was the hardest thing since being diagnosed at 7 years? He said “Giving up on eating biscuits”. We laughed hard about that, and I admitted that we have this in common. Then he continued and said ”When I was 11, I told doctors that I cannot continue that diet, I want to eat something sweet sometimes, food that everyone is eating. So they told me that sometimes I could eat a biscuit, but only a little bit and not everyday”.

I asked him “Now that you have been living with diabetes for 45 years, what is your sinning moment?” He said, “There are these Dutch biscuits called speculaas, sometimes I can eat the whole pack. But next day is pay back time! I must also work out by doing sport”. So Jaco cycles and walks everyday for 30 min.

Enjoying a sinful moment

Jaco asked me in return “ What is your moment of sin?” And I said “I like coconut macrons very much. That is the kind of biscuit I can eat every time”. And like Jaco, I pay back and walk my 10+ km.

This is how I can enjoy my life… Sin a bit, and balance my sins with a health lifestyle. We concluded that even when you are living with a chronic disease, you can arrange your life around it, still be cheerful and have a successful life. Jaco does not sit at home defeated by diabetes, he works for a company as an IT architect. And I feel the same about life. I run my company ‘Indonongo’, change the world as HIV Stigmafighter, while taking care of my healthy new me.

I am very thankful our paths crossed. Thank you Jaco, for being an inspiration for many. We don’t let diabetes stand in our way!

WE LIVE, WE AGE, WE THRIVE!

Peace,

Eliane

Golden goal

My lovely people , January is my favourite month. Not only because it is the beginning of a New year where we can start afresh, we also still have the whole year ahead to work on whatever we set our mind to.

We definitely started afresh as on the  4th January we celebrated our 20th Anniversary in a very special way. It became a great day full of many surprises. Remember, I was back from Burundi where I had been working really hard for 3 months on various great projects. So of course, I made sure to be back on time in the Netherlands to be with my husband on our 20th anniversary.

He is such a romantic man, as he had planned some wonderful surprises for our special day. He took me to our favourite town, Rotterdam, where we stayed in an amazing hotel with a room with our own private jacuzzi and sauna! Then we went to a special place, a huge red heart along a canal in Rotterdam, where love couples lock in their commitment to each other. So on our wedding day (04/01/2023) we locked in our 20 years and committed to staying strong for another 20 years.

And some of you may remember that it is only two years ago when I started to work hard on a Healthy New Me and that my goal was to wear my wedding dress on our 20th wedding anniversary? To accomplish this I started to walk at least 10 km every day. Well, I am so proud to share with you that I reached my goal! The dress fit me perfectly. I am calling this my Golden goal!

So, what is my next big motivation? Still this month I was invited by Positive Now and HIV Ireland to the 4th National HIV Conference in Dublin, Ireland. The theme was “The Pillars of Wellbeing” and the first speaker was Prof. Paddy Mallon to update us on key topics related to HIV in 2023 and explain where we are and what we need to know. He explained about the HIV lifecycle and presented an update on injectable HIV medication. In the Netherlands we are a bit advanced on this topic as we already have people using this, so I could share some of the experiences from our community with the Irish HIV community. To the Irish participants he asked  for more people to participate in clinical trials.

The second part of conference was focused on Wellbeing. This involved topics such as how to improve our wellbeing, how do mindfulness and meditation, how to break a bad habit and apply a new habit. My favourite exercise was the ‘domino effect’ where we learned how by starting to change something small you will be able to end up reaching your bigger target. We were also asked to write down our goals for 2023.

So after a successful 2022 where more a ‘ healthy new me’ resulted in more fitness, weight control and even less medication intake (you see, A small domino can really knock over a bigger one!), what is my golden goal for 2023 and beyond? Positive Living!

I really want to keep my healthy new me lifestyle, and also to fiercely engage on HIV activism as a performer.

I would like to thank PositiveNow and HIV Ireland  and every person I managed to chat with in Ireland. Thanks to joining conferences and networks like this I am motivated to continue to be healthy and in Love for the next 20 years, and by the time I will be 66 years I want my wedding dress to fit me again! 

I am so excited! Isn’t this what I should call Positive Living?

Peace,

Eliane

Unity

Each year during the first weekend of September the Airborne March, commemorating the 1944 battle of Arnhem, is organised in Oosterbeek. I did this beautiful walk for the first time in 2019, just before the corona pandemic. This year, my wish to walk once again with my neighbour and friend, Wanda and Norma, was finally granted. It was a very hot day but we managed to get to the finish. 

What really inspired me was the diversity of people during this march! Young and old people, mothers with children in strollers, people with a disability… I asked a woman of respectable age with a stroller “How many kilometers are you walking?” and she replied with determination “10 kilometers!”. I was very proud of her. I also asked a young girl how many times she joined the march and she said  that it was her 6th time already. So I asked how she did this, and she said that since she was baby, her grandparents carried her with them and that this was the first time she could walk the march all by herself! 

Overall the event is real fun, even people encouraging us along the street were very engaged. Some offered us, complete strangers, to use their toilet in their home, provided water to people and pets (yes, in the Netherlands people are dog lovers), offered fruits, sweets, and biscuits. I read a lot of appreciation of what we were doing. 

I concluded that it does not matter where you come from, you can participate no matter what you look like or in which shape you are. This day is really all inclusive and helps to unite people, both participants and spectators. Together we inspire each other to both continue to remember and learn from the past, yet also shape the outlines of an inclusive future. 

That day I learned that remembering the past does not mean only focusing on the negativity, it is also an opportunity to educate the younger generation and encourage them and apply the learning to keep making a positive impact in our communities. 

So, what if we also strive for more diversity and inclusion in our HIV community, where we still face so many issues around HIV prevention and stigma and discrimination? Where we are still struggling to reach vulnerable people that are marginalised? Let us learn from events such as the Airborne March how we in the HIV community can unite people living with HIV, onlookers, and care givers to fight HIV stigma! 

For the Airborne March I can now proudly add a wing to my medal. A win-win situation since it helps me to maintain my healthy new me lifestyle and it inspires me to keep fighting together for a stigma free world. 

Peace , 

Eliane