My lovely people, if you would have a chance to travel in time what would you do? First, make sure you are healthy as you can’t travel when you don’t take good care of yourself.
My story feels like time travel, which is not only about machines or science fiction. Sometimes, it is about memory, longing, and dreams that refuse to die. My journey feels like time travel, back to the moment I first missed my husband in Vietnam, and forward to the day we finally lived our honeymoon there, 23 years later.
I met my husband in Burundi during the civil war. We were young, fearless, and deeply in love. On Saturday, January 4, 2003, we married. Two days later, he left for a six months work trip to Vietnam. There was no honeymoon, only gossip and doubt from the community. People whispered that he had another wife, that our wedding meant nothing. But I trusted him. In my prayers I said: “Please God, guide him, keep him safe, and return him to me healthy.”
Communication was difficult those times. There was hardly any internet, no whatsapp or facebook. So I began to imagine Vietnam, his favourite food and restaurants, the language, the people. At school we had only learned about the Resistance War against America in the 60’s and 70’s, but I wanted to know how life continued beyond it. That dream became a leaf on my THRIVE dreamtree: Travel in time for a Vietnam honeymoon.
This month, it finally happened. Together we explored Hanoi, Da Nang, Hoi An, and finally Saigon. In Hanoi’s war museum, I felt sorrow for the destruction and admiration for the resilience and compassion of the Vietnamese people. They forgive, but they do not forget. Their kindness to foreigners is a lesson I wish many nations would learn.
The Mekong Delta, the place where my husband worked for 6 months, was our final destination. A vast labyrinth of rivers and canals, sustaining 18 million people today, just as it sheltered resistance fighters decades ago. We visited villages, markets, and farms, tasting guavas, dragonfruit, and mangoes that reminded me of my childhood in Murira, Burundi. We prayed at the Cao Dai temple which unifies many religions in the world, shared meals from fresh market produce, and glided slowly in a fisherman’s pirogue, touching the water hyacinths like a green carpet. Truly, the Mekong deserves its name: Mother River.
I also would like to share one story I learned about Vietnamese guerilla fighter and trained nurse Nguyen Thi Kim Lai at the Hanoi Prison Museum which touched me deeply. One day she captured a badly wounded American pilot who was hiding in the forests around Hanoi. When she saw his suffering, she instantly realised that “at that moment he was not a soldier, he was my patient, and I was his nurse.” So she tucked away her rifle and started tending to his injuries. Her compassion shows that even in war, humanity can prevail.
Vietnam taught me that dignity and forgiveness are possible even in the darkest times. Yet in today’s world, many communities – people living with HIV, sex workers, trans and queer people, people who use drugs – are still denied dignity and punished by unjust laws. Are they not human beings too? Love, respect, and access to health services are basic rights we must continue fighting for.
After 23 years, I finally lived my honeymoon in Vietnam. I did not give up on my dream. As my hero of hope Nelson Mandela said: “A winner is a dreamer who never gives up.” May his words, and Nguyen Thi Kim Lai’s compassion, inspire us all to keep dreaming, keep fighting stigma, and keep believing in peace.
Peace,
Eliane
HIV stigmafighter 