How to build confidence in a day

My lovely people, February is called by many Valentine’s month. It is considered a romantic month, and for me it is also called birthday month as it is my lovely husband’s birthday on Valentine’s day. This month we chose to celebrate his 51st birthday in Rome.

Why Rome? I grew up with in a strong catholic family with religious parents. In my youth I was a priest helper, I was part of a church dance group and I grew up with catholic values. I always believed Rome was the Holy City; As a child I did not know that the Vatican was actually a state in Rome where the Pope resided, I thought He lived in Rome and his church was called Vatican.

In 1990 Pope John Paul II visited my country Burundi. I kept very sweet memories of that and since I always fantasized of being in the Vatican one day, to see where the Pope lived. Later on, during high school we also learned so much about history and the important influence of the Roman empire and Christianity as one of the world religions with its seat in the Vatican.

But when I was told in 2003 that I was going to die because of my HIV, I thought that I would never be able to visit the Saint Peter Square in the Vatican or see the place where gladiators, like in the movie, would never give up until their last breath. So having overcome the hurdle of access to HIV medication, my WILL to visit Rome on day only increased. I really wanted to fulfill that childhood dream.

So when my husband asked me which city in Europe I wanted to visit, there was no doubt that this should be Rome. So finally, after these horrible covid times I said “darling, let’s go to Rome to celebrate your birthday. Carpe Diem!” He asked why Rome? I explained that I had been dreaming of this since I was a kid, to see where Pope lives and set my foot in the Vatican, and to tell HIV that my dreams can still come through!

And it did come true! We visited Rome from 10 to 15 February. First we visited the colosseum, an incredible structure, considering it is almost 2,000 years old! Only when you are there, you are able to realise what immense power these Roman emperors literally held. It is not difficult to also feel the pain and injustice done to the slaves that built it. The whole area around the Colosseum, on the Palatine hill and around the Forum, you start realising how sophisticated and hard working the common people and slaves were. Rome was certainly not built in one day, and surely not by the Romans themselves!

Then it was time for the massive and beautiful Saint Peter Basilica, the domain of the Pope. It is so impressive. We were lucky to visit the Vatican gardens with their three styles; the English, Italian and French gardens. After 12.00, once the tourists have left, this is where you will see the Pope meditate. The most touching story involved ‘my’ Pope John Paul II again, who I really kept in my memory since his visit to Burundi. We passed by a garden where he used to come daily to pray next to a statue of the Virgin Mary. Although there were many different chairs in that garden, he was not conformtable on any of them. So the gardener made a very simple seat out of a wooden log for him. And fromt that moment, when he sat in it, he felt the connection. He felt ‘grounded’, rooted to the earth and ever since it became his special seat. I was so happy to sit on that chair. It made me feel so unique!

Rome is beautiful and vibrant! It takes some time to really appreciate the city, but once you do, you see so many beautiful things. It is when you notice that each bridge over the Tiber river is special in its own way. For example, you will notice the Jazz bands playing on the Ponte Sisto on Sunday afternoons and see people taking time to enjoy life. And see me joining them, dancing, to become part of that amazing spontaneous atmosphere, ‘whipping’ others to make the whole bridge one giant open air Jazz festival!

Yes, I have seen with my own eyes that Rome was not built in one day… My acceptance of living with HIV also took what seemed millions of days to come to a point where I was able to enjoy the confidence I re-built myself. But in the end, my HIV did not become my limitation to give up on my dream to visit Rome. 

So, despite Rome not having been built in one day, NEVER forget that it only takes one day, one short moment, to enjoy life to the fullest.

Life is really too short to waste it!

Peace,

Eliane